One Year


“His promise is true. My God will come through – Always.”

365 days ago I was saying goodbye to the only life I had known for 28 years. 28 Years filled with a lot of great memories and a few not so great but all in all what a wonderful 28 years they were. However, deep down I knew that there was something more – God had something else for me.

Growing up in church and in a Christian home, I had always heard, “You will never have more joy than when you’re following the will of God.”

I’d like to think that for a good portion of my life I did just that. With all the capacity that I had as a child and young adult – I pursued God and His will for my life. Then somewhere along the way it became less about God and more about me.

As I grew older and became more capable of “standing on my own two feet”, I began to build a life centered around me and God took a back seat. Fast forward to 27 and I had quite the life in the eyes of this world but yet I lacked joy in my life. I continually chased the next thing – be it a better job, better title, more money or higher social status. Yet none of it brought me much joy but in the eyes of the world – I was doing great.

When God laid it on my heart to move to Texas – I was crushed. Why would he have me leave this life I love? Why would he have me move 1200 miles away from everything and everyone I knew to start a completely new life in a new state where I knew very few people?

Looking back over this year – I realize now that it was God’s way of saving me. You might be sitting there thinking, “Saving you from what?”. Great question – I often asked myself in the early days of this move and even the months leading up – what are you saving me from? I figured out that it wasn’t what but who.

God was saving me from myself.

One year later and life doesn’t look a thing like I ever thought it would. When I moved to Texas I had a lot of preconceived ideas of what life was going to be life. God taught me an important lesson those first few months I was here – the more I said no to myself and yes to Him – the more my world began to come together.

God provided a job at a company that I love doing what I love. I am surrounded by a community of people that care for me. I have a modest apartment that feels like home. I found a Church to call home. My relationship with Christ has deepened and grown. Most of all?

I’ve experienced joy that goes far beyond an earthly happiness.

Now, don’t get me wrong – it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. My life here is far from perfect but there is this comfort in knowing that I’m right there – in the middle of the plan that God has for my life – that allows me to finally have some rest. Now that I’ve experienced that. I’m not chasing the next best thing to fill the void because there’s no void to be filled.

JMSo to celebrate this year anniversary I woke up and decided to be spontaneous. I put the top down on the Camaro and headed for the beach. A few of hours later and I found myself at the entrance to Padre Island National State Park.

I actually penned this on paper as I sat on the beach and listened to the waves.

I cannot wait to see what the next year holds for me here in Texas and hopefully many more to come.


I Forgot to Run



I purchased the Rock ‘n Roll Tour Pass for 2016 with the intent to run a 10k, Half and Full with it in 2016. Well, January went by and my running shoes have sat in my closet collecting dust.

With a 10k looming at the end of February, I figured I needed to get out and run since I can’t remember the last time I ran. I realized this weekend that I’ve been suffering a bit from “paralysis by analysis”. Without a running group here in Texas, I’ve been over analyzing running. Mostly when/where. Not knowing the area, I let my research consume me until I’d get so fed up I just wouldn’t do anything aka paralysis by analysis.

Today, I started out that way. I had 10 tabs open in Safari looking for places to run. Finally the voice of reason in my head just said, “put your shoes on, go out the door and go explore”. I don’t have plans until 6:00 PM tonight and it was noon. So I had about 5 hours to make it back to my apartment should I get distracted or lost.

So, I turned off the laptop and did just that. I got my stuff together, filled a water bottle and took off. I left my complex and headed into downtown Boerne.

At first, I started with a structured 2/1 run/walk pattern and was very focused on running. Somewhere around 0.75 miles I found myself in downtown Boerne taking in the sights and suddenly became less focused on running and more about enjoying the journey I was on.

IMG_2640I arrived near the city center where my church ( held our Christmas Eve service and found myself at the trail head for the Cibolo Trail. I snapped a picture of the trailhead sign and off I went again. Still keeping somewhat of a pace and then I kind of got lost in my head and my run became a walk.

Then I stopped listening to my watch. I was listening to a Praise and Worship playlist that I have on Spotify and decided to just immerse myself in the “space” I was creating for myself. I had nothing to prove. No race to win. No place to really be. So somewhere along the way I forgot about running and decided to just be.

Soon I found myself standing at the end of the trail on the other side of the town. I realized I had literally just “ran” from one end of the town to the other. Ok, so maybe “run” is an ambitious word, more like power walked but still, you get my point.

As I was returning I had a few thoughts come across my mind:

First, how blessed I am that this is where God has lead my life. I’ve been on quite the amazing journey in my life with moving to Texas last year and I think in the hustle and bustle of everything I forgot about what blessing it is that God allowed my life to land in Boerne, Texas. Not only is this community full of wonderful and amazing people but just look at the pictures in this post. I’ve only previously dreamed of living somewhere where this is my backyard – and now I am.IMG_2642

Second, how it’s not always about the PR, distance, or destination but sometimes about the journey. I also think that it’s our human nature to want to do everything ourselves. One thing I’ve learned in this last year is about trusting God more and relying on our own self less. I’m very guilty of getting hung up in the destination in life and forgetting to enjoy the here and now – the current journey no matter how fast or slow.

So, now that I got over that hump – it is time to get some weekly runs in and enjoy this beautiful town even more.

Happy Sunday!

A picture is worth a 1000 words



I fell off the blogging bandwagon pretty hard last year. Thankfully I love taking pictures and was able to capture a lot of this year through photos and journaling offline.

Near the end of the year I saw everyone creating their “2015 Best Nine” on Instagram and decided to give in and see what mine would be.

I don’t think I could have asked for a better collage of photos for my best nine. Each one representing a major part of my life this last year. I looked at this collage and thought, “If a picture is worth a 1000 words then this one would be worth so many more…”

In short, what does each picture represent? Here’s the breakdown (left to right)

Top Row

  1. A Thank You Card from Scott
    I remember this card like it was yesterday. When Scott, Tracy and the kids were in Houston for his treatments I would go out every other week to help out and visit with them. One week I was returning to go back to San Antonio and upon getting in the car to drive back I looked down and there was an envelope that said “John” on it. I opened it when I got back to San Antonio and saw this sweet message from Scott. I’m so glad I saved it…
  2. My Relay Outfit for the Toledo Marathon
    Running has become part of my life (even though I slacked for most of 2015). This relay was something that was planned long before I moved to Texas and I’m so happy that I was able to logistically make this happen even after moving to Texas. My running friends have been (and still are) like family to me!
  3. The last picture I took in Ohio
    I guess I should say, “Last picture I took in Ohio as a resident of the state” since I’ve been back a couple of times. I took this on 3/6/15 – the day that I officially moved away from Ohio to begin my life Texas. My entire life packed in that Chevy Tahoe with my two bikes on the back. Crazy to think that this was almost a year ago now!

Middle Row

  1. Scott Participating in the 2015 CrossFit Open
    Scott never failed to amaze or inspire me. Here he was,  currently during the week receiving radiation and chemo and on the weekends was in the gym participating in the 2015 CrossFit Open workout. He never let his diagnosis be an excuse and participated until he was physically not able to.
  2. My First Christmas Tree in Texas
    I never have had a real Christmas tree and so I decided to start a tradition of getting a real Christmas tree the year! It was a challenge for my OCD to decorate a tree that’s not “perfect” but I made it through and was so happy with the outcome. Looking forward to many more trees in Texas.
  3. Cycling in Texas
    Cycling is a big part of my life and thankfully it continues to be a part of my life in Texas. This is one of the many trails here in the San Antonio area and with the amazing weather we have I get to enjoy cycling a whole lot more.

Bottom Row

  1. Football Hall of Fame 5k in Canton, Ohio
    This race was more of a “fun run” for my relay group. We ran together in matching costumes and had a blast doing it! Everyone loved our outfits and we’ve been featured on the website, email newsletter and Facebook page of the race! Such a good time.
  2. Boerne Lake
    I discovered this lake on one of my rides around the little town I live in. I had heard there was a lake but wasn’t sure were (come to find out it’s a few miles north of my apartment). I ride out here often and just relax. It’s a beautiful place to hang out!
  3. Texas Hill Country Sunset
    The sunsets (and sunrises for that fact) are so stunning here. Each one different and amazing. They often capture my attention and my photos do not do them justice. One of my favorite things is to sit on my balcony in my rocking chair and watch the sunset. So peaceful and relaxing.

I’m very curious to see what 2016 has in store and what my nine photos will be like at the end of 2016. I can tell you that on January 1, 2015 I never thought that in 365 days my life would have changed as much as it did.

Here’s to an exciting 2016!

Back to CrossFit


5:00 AM

The alarm was blaring. I opened my eyes, looking at the ceiling and slowly got out of bed. As I stumbled around the room I quickly put on some clothes, grabbed my water bottle, apple and keys then head out the door.

Today was going to be my first CrossFit workout since the memorial WOD for Scott that I posted about previously. I haven’t really said it but I haven’t been able to bring myself to go back to CrossFit since Scott passed away.

You see, Scott was the one that got me into CrossFit. He was my own personal CrossFit cheerleader. I remember when I first started CrossFit it was actually supposed to be the weekend that Scott had his surgery in February of 2014. I skipped my first class to be at the hospital and he promptly gave me crap about it post surgery.

I went back to Ohio and started in at CrossFit. Even with all that Scott was dealing with – fresh off of brain surgery and dealing with his cancer diagnosis he would call and ask me how CrossFit was going. He’d text me and make sure I was going then ask me how the WoD was. He’d encourage me every chance he got and would always tell me to not give up and to stick with it. Scott will forever be the person that I associate CrossFit with in my life.

So, in moving to Texas I got the privilege to share CrossFit with Scott on a regular basis. A gift that I’m forever grateful for. By the time that we got to workout together he had some balance issues but that never stopped him. No matter what he was dealing with physically he would go to the box and workout. On especially bad days he would still go and would just use the rower. I will never forget the WoDs that we got to do together. He really taught me what it meant to never give up.

After Scott passed away I found myself in a bit of a spiral. I started to cope with my grief by emotionally eating. I also couldn’t even begin to think about stepping foot into CrossFit. It just didn’t seem right for some reason. It sounds stupid and I wish I could explain it but that’s the only way I know how to put it.

October 4, 2015. Two months. Some days it feels like it all happened yesterday and sometimes it feels like it’s been years since I talked to him.

I finally looked at myself in the mirror and looked at the scale and realized that I couldn’t keep dealing with my grief like this. I had to change. Scott would want me to be in that gym every minute that I could be. So… I decided that Monday – it was time for me to go back to CrossFit.

I’m in the process of turning my diet around step by step and each day it gets a bit better and I’m already seeing positive changes there. I’m trying to build healthier outlets for my grief than food… but it’s a tough one.

So back to 5:00 AM…

I arrive in the parking lot and sit there for a couple of minutes staring at the door. It was too early  to be emotional. It took all I had emotionally to get out of the car and walk to that door.

Once I did get inside I was quickly greeted by familiar faces. Everyone came over and welcomed me to the 5:15 class and before I knew it we were well into the warm-up.

The workout was upper body focused – one of my weak areas but I suffered through it and finished in a decent amount of time. Before I knew it I was back at my Apartment heading up to get ready for the day.

As I (slowly) walked up the steps I thought about Scott. About the impact he’s had on my life. I thought about how even after he’s gone that he left behind a wonderful community of people that I somehow have had the honor of being accepted into. Thanks to Scott I met so many other awesome people there at Hill Country CrossFit. People who I now call friends and enjoy spending time with. After getting to know these people I can see why Scott loved them all so much.

Life won’t be the same without him…





I arrived at the box around 9:45 am. I’ll be honest – I didn’t show up any earlier because I didn’t think I could emotionally handle it before the WOD.

You see – I’ve been slacking with CrossFit. I hadn’t been there since before I got my job in Texas. The last time I was at Hill Country CrossFit was with Scott. Even though while he was alive I went to the box from time to time by myself – it just hit me different yesterday. It was a “first” for me.

As I stood facing the white board I read the workout:


1000m Row

—- 4 Rounds —-

8 – Front Squats 185/125#
4 – Should to Overhead Press
15 Pull-Ups


43 Burpees
1 Mile Run

I’ve never done a workout this tough before. I’m also two months out from my last CrossFit class. I haven’t slept well. I haven’t been eating. I’m probably dehydrated. I can’t go but 5 minutes at a time without wanting to start crying. There are a bunch of people here to just watch.

These are all thoughts that went through my head and then this one:

Who cares. This one is for you buddy…

So with a deep breath I started warming up. Thankfully that warm-up (which by the way – I always feel like the warmup is a workout) took my mind and focused it on what I was doing and off of what this day was.


Then we all gathered around and Jerry explained the meaning behind the workout. Never in my life I thought I would get emotional over a CrossFit workout…

1000m row – When Scott started having issues with his balance and was unable to do a lot of the WODs he would come to the box and row.

4 Rounds – Scott was crazy about his 4 children. So today the 4 rounds represent the 4Cs

8-4-15 – The day that Scott left us

43 Burpees – Scott’s age.

1 Mile Run – At the end when Scott was having trouble walking and therefore could no longer run he would always take about wanting to run again. So that day we were going to run for him.

Me - #BetterThanDying

Yep – that last one pushed me over the edge and I was standing there in tears. I had a flashback to him reading a couple books about how to learn to running again. How before the last prognosis that he would talk with me about how much he wanted to be able to run again even though he hated running.

Even though the workout was brutal – I don’t think Jerry could have made it more of a fitting tribute to our friend. I’m also so happy Jerry programed it – Scott loved all our CrossFit coaches but he would often tell me stories of how motivating Jerry is. He used to always make cracks at Jerry’s programming too and how much he loved to hate it. They couldn’t have picked a more perfect person to program it.

I talked with Danny that morning to figure out how to modify the workout because I couldn’t do the pull-ups so we decided on ring rows. I setup my bar at 75# and got in line for the rower.

I sat down at the rower and they yelled GO


I started rowing with all that I had. I rarely row (mostly because I hate the rower) and know that usually my times are horrible. I had some serious determination to get that part over with. I had a flashback to a time in Houston where Scott and I were in the garage at the rental house where they were staying while he was getting treatment at M.D. Anderson. He had a rower that a box in Houston loaned him when they heard his story.

He told me that we were going to play a rowing game. Row to 100m and for every meter that you are beyond 100 you have to do that many burpees. 10 times. So yeah… total was 1000m. How ironic. I sucked at that game so much that Scott let me have an 11th turn and scratched out my worst score so I could win. That was just the kind of guy he was. I sometimes think he knew I needed the win for the confidence in myself. It was a silly little game but now that memory means more to me than anything.

I rowed the 1000m in 4:24 or something like that. Fastest I’ve ever got to 1000m in my life. I headed inside the box to start the 4 rounds.

I approached the bar and started the first round. I don’t know about others but for me, each of those rounds represented his 4 kids to me. So I told myself that each round I was going to complete for that kid. I got through C1’s round pretty quick. Then I started in on C2’s round. This is about the time that my body decided that we were done but I pushed through and pushed hard. C2 sometimes can had a bit of a “fiery attitude” and it was only appropriate that I approached the bar during that round with some anger.

As I was going into round 3, for C3, I was struggling. I dropped the weight. I was shaking. I could barely open my eyes. I had several people around (several who were also doing the WoD) cheering me on to keep going.

Then I heard it.

A small voice was saying, “Go John”. I looked over and C3 had decided to sit down against the wall next to me and cheer me on. She is really a lot like her daddy. Hearing her and seeing her I told myself that I had to finish this round and I did.

Then as round 4 began I saw C4 sitting there next to his sister. Hell or high-water I was going to finish this last round for him. I dug down deep and found strength I didn’t know I had and pushed through that last round.

Now for the burpees

I’m pretty sure I was somewhere on the verge of passing out (literally) as I began the burpees. I managed to get out 3 and then collapsed on the floor. I’m pretty sure Ira was the one who told me I could do this and to move in front of the fan. A few more and again I collapse on the ground.

I’m emotional. I can’t breathe. I’m in pain. I refused to give up though.

Laura said, I’ll do them with you. Then Madison said she would to. They got me through the next 10.

Then Janina came over and started coaching me. Helping me slow down. To modify. To do the thinking for me that I couldn’t do.

Me, Madison and Carly

At one point I look over and C3 had got down and was doing the burpees with me as well. I knew right then that I had to finish. Just seeing her down there with me gave me strength I didn’t know I had.

I’m sure I’m forgetting others that were standing around and cheering for me (I’m telling you guys – I’m pretty sure I was very close to passing out. Even when I opened my eyes I had tunnel vision).

Folks – that right there – that’s CrossFit. Media will show you the elite of the elite or see how much bad press they can give the sport but they don’t show that. The community. The fact that it’s about more than just you finishing but cheering on your fellow athlete to finish as well.

I finally finished the 43 burpees. I stood up, got a water and began my 1 mile run or in my case walk. I left the box with a group of people to walk with me (I’m not sure if it was for support or because they thought I’d pass out before getting back… lol)

At about 3/4’s of a mile – I began to throw up. It was all water because I hadn’t ate that day (or actually in the last 12 hours) but I threw up. A LOT of water. As I was puking I thought – well, this is fitting… first CrossFit workout I’ve ever thrown up on of course was going to be Scott’s. He would have laughed so hard at me and loved every minute.

I kept going and rounded the corner to get back to the box. I was last to finish and almost everyone had gathered outside to cheer me in. Also fitting I’d be last to finish – just like every other WoD Scott and I have done together.

Group Photo

Finishing this workout just didn’t give me the same feeling as other WODs. I didn’t feel like I accomplished something for myself – I felt like I accomplished something for someone else. I honored my friend who loved CrossFit and always wanted me to and believed that I could become a great CrossFit athlete.

The worst part of the whole morning? Going to my friend’s car to get some stuff for the memorial and she handed me the 8×10 picture that was going to sit on the stage. I looked at his picture and it was like a ton of bricks hit me. I couldn’t call Scott and tell him all about that WoD. He couldn’t tell me how proud he was of me or how I needed to work on my rowing form or how he knows that I could do that WOD again and do it faster the second time. He isn’t here anymore. It all became real to me again and I went to my car and weeped harder than I have in days…

***Special thanks to Jennifer McKinney and Jessica Farrell for the pictures

My Journey to Texas: Dallas


So you know it wouldn’t be a JohnMassie story if there wasn’t a plot twist. Well, here’s the plot twist that you’ve all been waiting for – I mentioned to many of you that I was stopping in Dallas on my way to San Antonio to stay with a friend… While all true – I didn’t really tell you all the details because I knew if i did I would worry people more (and people were worried enough with me driving 16 hours straight).

Well, the part I failed to mention is that I know Damon via Twitter (@DamonGochneaur) and I had never actually met Damon in person. In fact, we had never even spoken on the phone before. Yes, so in essence I drove 16 hours, 1,100 miles to a person’s house that I had never been to or met in person before.

Damon and his family gave me quite the Texas welcome – complete with a steak dinner upon my (late) arrival. A beautiful guest suite to stay in at his home and an itinerary of Dallas activities for me should I choose to stay for the weekend. So, on a whim, I extended what was going to be a quick overnight stay into Dallas into a full weekend in Dallas!


The next morning after getting introduced to Damon’s children we took off for a local barbecue joint – Hard Eight BBQ. This place was quintessential Texas barbecue experience in my mind. Mind blowing barbecued meat and awesome sides with sweet tea to wash it all down. I wish I would have taken a picture of how the meat is served to you – it’s taken straight from the pit, carved on the spot and served like the picture above. It does not get fresher than that. I was in food heaven.


That evening Damon took his oldest and myself to a FC Dallas Soccer game. We had amazing seats and the weather could not have been nicer to sit outside and watch a soccer game. (Though it was as we were leaving) but FC Dallas scored and won the game! Good times.

The next day Damon and his family invited me to join them at Odysseo. Kind of hard to describe but my best attempt would be – a show that is a mix of Cirque du Soleil but add in horses that are very well trained. Complete with live singing and live band. Thanks to a series of events Damon was able to get upgraded seats and we were able to sit second row. I wasn’t sure what to expect of the show going in and I was completely blown away within minutes of the show starting. I’m pretty sure I spent most of the two hours with my jaw dropped wide open. If you have a chance to see it (I think it’s going to Canada next) I highly recombined it!


Afterwards we got to meet a couple of the performers and take a tour of the stable where they keep all the horses. (For me) A once in a lifetime experience and I’m very blessed that things worked out that I was able to join them.

Damon’s generosity and kindness was quite overwhelming. I think of myself as no more than a stranger to him and he opened his home, fed me, gave me a place to stay and made sure I had a great time while in Dallas. I feel very blessed to have awesome people like Damon in my life and really felt like he embodied Matthew 25:35, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.”

The weekend was a great way to kick off the first few days of living in Texas. Thanks Damon for your kindness and friendship!


My Journey to Texas

This is going to be a small four part series chronicling my move process and the various stages. Being one of the biggest things that has ever taken place in my life I wanted to blog about it to share with everyone as well as for my own memories to look back on.

  1. Grief
  2. Drive
  3. Dallas
  4. Start

My Journey to Texas: Drive



Ok, I always imagined that if I was ever going to move away from Ohio I would have movers and I would just fly to my new home. I’d have one of those cinematic moments at security where I said my goodbyes and then I’d walk through security and turn around and wave to my friends/family that came to see me off. Then I’d get to my gate and I’d board the plane and I’d watch as I fly over the Columbus and look longingly out the window and wave goodbye. Maybe snapping a picture of downtown before I left.

Well, in reality, my move out of Ohio was nothing like that. I was half awake, freezing cold from trying to load all the last minute stuff at 5:00 AM and said my goodbyes to my mom and grandma who couldn’t stand and watch me drive away as it was crazy cold and my mom had to get ready for work. There weren’t crazy tears and I couldn’t look longingly out the window because I was driving. I didn’t even get to go through downtown one last time or anything – I just had to hit the road and took the outer belt because it was the fastest way.

Also, one thing that happened that morning that also added stress was the fact that it was so cold in Ohio that my bike rack locks were frozen so they weren’t very secure on the rack. I had to trust that the locks that did work would hold them on until it got warm enough and they thawed (which was 475 miles later…). After one check of the rack I took off and didn’t stop until I needed gas.

The whole drive was fairly uneventful. With the crazy winter weather Kentucky and Tennessee had been receiving that week I decided to take the more western route than the southern route. I had beautiful weather and the first few states (Ohio, Indiana, Illinois) seemed to just fly by. The first major thing happened when I was screaming obscenities at my GPS in downtown St. Louis because apparently it doesn’t understand how the lanes work and caused me to miss my exit. You know, because there’s nothing like traveling 70MPH and it says “In 300 feet, keep left.” so you naturally keep left and then afterwards it says, “Take the exit on the right.” No warning, just “take the exit on there right”… you know, no big deal, you just need to jump over 5 lanes into traffic… However, I made it to the appropriate freeway after wandering through downtown for a few minutes.

IMG_0851I was pretty hard core about this driving portion since I had to be in Dallas that evening. I literally only stopped to get gas, go to the bathroom and once to eat (though it was at a gas station). I didn’t leave the car for long (or let it out of my sight) because as you can see, my life was packed into the back (and no, I couldn’t see out the back).

I thought Missouri was long but I was mistaken. I was almost sure that I was never going to leave the state of Oklahoma. Not to mention that the drivers were crazy on the toll roads and no one in the state of Oklahoma seemed to understand the concept of cruise control.

Then I hit some crazy traffic just south of Oklahoma City on I-35. No accident – just traffic… which is one of the things I hate the most. I kept move and finally broke free from the traffic and it was a straight shot to my friends Damon’s house just north of Dallas.

I hate inconveniencing anyone and I had originally planned on arriving around 8:00 PM but it ended up being closer to 9:30 PM. Thankfully Damon and his family were very gracious and accommodating with my later than anticipated arrival. I did it – I drove from Ohio to Texas in one day covering roughly 1,100 miles. Crazy but totally worth it since it got me into my new home state in just one day!

My Journey to Texas

This is going to be a small four part series chronicling my move process and the various stages. Being one of the biggest things that has ever taken place in my life I wanted to blog about it to share with everyone as well as for my own memories to look back on.

  1. Grief
  2. Drive
  3. Dallas
  4. Start

My Journey to Texas: Grief


A week ago I found myself sitting on my bed at my mom’s condo quietly grieving the life that I was about to leave. I had had plenty of goodbye dinners, lunches, parties, and coffees. I had sold most of my worldly possessions. I had even packed up my Chevy Tahoe with everything I did own to be able to start my journey the next morning as early as possible.You’d think by now it would have set in that I was moving to Texas.

Yet it wasn’t until I found myself alone, in my room, right as I laid down to go to bed the night before I was to embark on the journey that I began to truly grieve the life that I was leaving. It’s something I’ll never forget. I sat on the edge of my bed and quietly cried as I thought of everything I left behind. The words to the old country song, “How Can I Help You Say Goodbye” by Patty Loveless played in my head.

I knew deep down I was making the right decision but in that very moment I questioned everything that I was about to do. I texted one of my closest friends and asked for some prayers as I really didn’t know what else to do or say. I tried to pray but really there were no words. Then I realized I just had to left this happen – I had to work through the grief of what I was about to do. I knew that if I didn’t process this that it would just make the move all that much harder.

When I thought about this whole move I never thought about grieving the chapter of my life that I was closing up. I feel like throughout my life I’ve moved through “seasons” or had “chapters” open and close but never in my life have I had something so huge where I felt like it was so defined. So different than other “seasons” or “chapters” in my life ending.

The move wasn’t a negative one at all so I figured there would be no reason to have such sad feelings. I learned quickly I was wrong. I think somewhere in my mind I felt like I was abandoning everyone in my life. I’d like to think that I’m not a selfish person and what I was about to do felt so selfish because it was for me and me alone. Yet, I think in the end this move to Texas will be good for me and truly is what I want but it’s still hard to tell yourself that you’re doing the right thing.

On the other hand I knew that I was leaving with everyone’s blessing. I learned quickly that when you move away like this you really don’t want people to be happy to see you leave but you want them to be happy for you. Thankfully most all of my friends and family were good about articulating these feelings and I had to remind myself that everyone was truly happy for me and that it’s ok to take that leap to head to Texas…

After thinking through all this and more I was able to finally calm myself down and fall asleep. It seemed like I had just barely closed my eyes when suddenly my 5:00AM alarm was going off. I laid there staring at the ceiling. I had to will myself out of bed to get showed and on the road.

After gathering my things and saying my goodbyes to my mom and my grandma I got in my truck and began the 1400 mile journey from Columbus to San Antonio…


My Journey to Texas

This is going to be a small four part series chronicling my move process and the various stages. Being one of the biggest things that has ever taken place in my life I wanted to blog about it to share with everyone as well as for my own memories to look back on.

  1. Grief
  2. Drive
  3. Dallas
  4. Start


Shake The Dust


Mat Kearney released his next album called “Just Kids” this week. The first track is called “Heartbreak Dreamer”. The title of the track caught my attention and I listened to it first. Then found myself listening to it again and again and again. Here’s the track for you if you’d like to check it out:

As I listened to the words it dug up some feelings that I’ve been having right now. At the end you will hear a spoken word given by Anis Mojgani called “Shake the Dust”. I looked up the original on YouTube to find that there is more to the spoken word that what appears in the song.

With the announcement of my move to Texas it has produced a wide variety of emotions and reactions from people around me. I’ve experienced such wonderful positive messages from people and I have experienced the not so great derogatory and doubting comments from others.

As I listened to this song and this spoken word I just thought about the words “Shake The Dust”. Much of my life I’ve been the underdog and have been the one that people would assume would fail. Whenever I’ve made changes in my life I’ve had to own my decisions, hold my head high, shake the dust and press forward. This time is no different – I just have to remember that in life not everyone is going to support you and you just have to Shake The Dust.


Who else is taking the 28 Day Challenge?

I had a challenge presented to me on January 31 by my friend Sean to blog every day in February to help form the habit of writing on a consistent basis. I took him up on the challenge and will be writing every day in February. 


Be More Human


I saw this commercial over the last couple of weeks and you know what? It makes me miss CrossFit. It was around this time last year that I started an introduction to CrossFit group and then I took up training for a half marathon so I let CrossFit go in favor of being able to dedicate all my free time training for my half.

After I get settled in San Antonio I think I will go back to CrossFit. I think I’ll incorporate it into my cycling, running (and dare I say maybe swimming…). I not only felt stronger but I think it helped support my other outdoor activities. Plus since I know only a couple of people out there I might as well sink my free time into being active (we all know my waist and weight will thank me).


Who else is taking the 28 Day Challenge?

I had a challenge presented to me on January 31 by my friend Sean to blog every day in February to help form the habit of writing on a consistent basis. I took him up on the challenge and will be writing every day in February.