So, I mentioned in past posts about closing out a chapter of my life. It’s amazing how for the first time in life that I quickly closed a chapter and I never even saw it coming. I’ve been one to have methodical and drawn out closure but this time things were different. It seemed like most of the things in my life ended abruptly and change began to happen in me and around me. It was also the first time I “closed a chapter” and never looked back.
So after this happened I was presented with the question of, “Where do I go now?” So, I did what I do best, prayed. Thankfully God had a plan for me. I ended up at Marysville Vineyard this Sunday to hear my dear friend Kelly speak. Now, I haven’t heard Kelly speak since camp which was years ago so I was excited.
From the moment I walked in I was met with happy faces and love abounded. Thought I’m not a “regular” many people in the church are getting to recognize me and will say hello and talk to me… which is nice. As worship began I just had a small voice let me know that God had me there for a reason. So I intently began to enter into a time of worship.
The music began and it wasn’t a song I knew but I’m quick with lyrics so I began to sing. The song was so moving and I began to listen to what I was singing and found so much inspiration and comfort that I knew that as long as I turned over my life to God, everything would be ok.
Then after a moving worship service my friend Kelly got up to speak. Her message was much like how I write, based on her personal life. She shared from the heart and I was moved. She related with a lot of what I was feeling and gave me hope that everything was going to be just fine. As we entered a time of prayer we sang yet another song I love and I knew God had met me there that day.
I came home to a less than pleasant situation but as I do with everything that I view as “bad” in life I began to look for what God wanted me to learn from the situation. I learned to displace my anger and see past the issue to what God wanted me to see. I think it served as a great reminder that I do only have a few people in life who understand who I am, what I’m about and where I’m going in life and most of all… believe in me.
I have a few that pretend like they meet that criteria and I have many who classify me as a “Grade A Failure” but I’m living out a much bigger plan that is completely out of my hands. Sure, I might be unconventinal in my methods but then again wasn’t Jesus considered a radical of His time? God never promised that if His children followed the will He set before them that they would look normal in the world’s eye and that is something I have to remember each day.
I also give thanks to God for all that I do have in this life and His many blessings He so graciously gives me. I praise Him for the good, bad and ugly when it comes my way. I know that no matter what I’m never a failure in God’s eye and His plan is never considered a failure. God ordained the events that played out that night because He wanted to remind me of the way the world sees me from now until the day I die and light a fire within me to go on and conquer the path set before me with passion and faith - to show that God’s plan is never a failure.
So all in all, I found my inspiration for the journey. As my new time in life unfolds I’ve taken it as fast as God can give it to me and reach out to those that I need to and have been met with only love and support. To my family and friends who are there for me, thank you.
Well, it is getting to be my bedtime and I’m tired. I’ll post the lyrics to that new song I learned at Vineyard for you all to read and I’ve highlighted what stood out to me.
Night,
- JM
Mighty to Save
Hillsong
Everyone needs compassion
A love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light and let the whole world see
We’re singing for the glory of the risen King…Jesus
I’m so vain, I think the internet is about me. After all, it is, isn’t it?
I know what part I had in this whole thing…and I think its kind of interesting to see it from this side of things. You’re good at playing your cards close to your hand — I appreciate that about you.
I will respond by saying this, however: I ain’t gonna hate on you; it isn’t my place. Granted, I may flat out not get what motivates you…but that’s okay — I don’t need to. Because God put you on this earth to do what you got to do — I sure can’t do it for you. Much like you’re not supposed to do what I was put here to do.
In the end, all you have to answer to is you and God; forget what the rest of us say — you got your mission, go get ‘er done. Just like everyone has their own.
Now that I’ve completed that, its off to go finish my mission.