*Note: You might want to get comfortable, I have a feeling this is going to be a long one. You’ve been warned.*
This week, hasn’t been the greatest. Everything in my life is changing, yes, for the better and I feel very blessed to have the opportunities that I have. I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful child of God who is scoffing at the fact he’s very blessed. I’ve just never had so much in my personal life changing. If you will remember back on Mother’s Day I wrote an entry called Bring the Rain. I spoke about re framing my worldview. This has been quite the work in progress of my life. It seems like in this last two weeks this has intensified in my life.
What many don’t know (might as well let the big secret out) is that I’m getting ready to move. I’m working on doing some remodeling but for the most part I’m getting ready to throw the house on the market and sell it. In addition, I’m selling a lot of my belongings to save for new stuff for the new house. I’m also selling the Saab because I would like to replace it with a different vehicle after I move. I’m also trying to clean out the house as I pack so I keep only what I truly want/need. I also recently started a new job (which I love, by the way) but that is the least of my worries.
However, no matter how comfortable you are or how much you love change… change is change. I am one who doesn’t care for monotony and I love to change. Yet, this is a hard change for me, physically more than personally. I am not attached to this house or the cars or the stuff I’m selling… it’s just the pressure to get everything done. This has put quite the strain on my life right now.
Now, before you get ready to jump all over me, I am taking all this to God… on a daily basis. He is where I find strength to carry on and peace to sleep at night. Without God I think my life would be a true chaotic mess.
Anyways, this is the extreme cliff notes as to what I’m feeling right now when it comes to the physical side of life. Then as if it wasn’t enough this happens to me this week…
Jumping back to the whole “identity/worldview” thing. For the past few months since I wrote that I’ve been making active change and seeing a true difference in my life. It was just something that I worked on actively and life was great. Until this week…
So, God decided to remind me where my heart lies, and that would be with people. Let me let you in on a secret, I do care about people. God has given me this desire to help those in need and to comfort those who hurt and just all around show people God’s love. Sure, I’m not perfect, and I screw up all the time, but I’m still growing and trying to learn more and look at more things through God’s eyes and less through mine.
It seems like I go through these times in my life where God has me focus on my relationship with him and not so much this love of ministering to His children (and by that I mean not just those who claim “Christianity” but EVERYONE). During this time I find myself developing a deeper relationship with God to bring strength to others in the time following this time of “rest” or “seclusion”.
This last time of “selah” or “rest”, was quite, well… intense. An experience with one of my friends caused me to react to them in a way that neither one of us needed and I walked away. When I did this, I walked away from everyone I knew. Maybe many didn’t notice but I did try to separate myself because I suddenly realize that my “identity” was based on those around me not GOD.
Now God I guess has decided that my “selah” is through and I’m ready to start this new time in my life. Now, with all that being said, let me explain what happened this week when I found my “resting” stage of social life was over.
This began when I received an e-mail from this friend that I described earlier. They sent me a simple but sweet letter and we exchanged e-mails several times then I got busy and didn’t get to respond until this week.
I responded and we chatted a bit, each letter beginning to open up and then as I was typing the third or fourth e-mail God stuck a note in my heart that I had not felt for sometime. The note to explain my change in heart and express my forgiveness and ask for forgiveness. I explained a lot of what I have here and then told them that I was sorry and explained that during this time of rest I’ve changed and I hope that I can show them a new and better person this time around and only move forward with this attitude and “identity” I now possess.
This was the start of unlocking my heart for people once again. I then planned on having lunch with another friend this week. I picked them up for work in front of their building (note, no names are being used because I’ve not discussed with each individual if they mind me sharing things, but yet I want each person to know that they played a key role this week in my life, so the odd details are why…) and we went to a wonderful lunch at a local steakhouse by our offices.
We discussed life and my friend told me of the stress and pressure they were having at work. My heart just ached with hurt that there was nothing I could do to help. I knew I could pray for them, and I actively do. They have been a great friend to me for years even as we’ve lost touch and God has thankfully made it clear that we’re to know each other. I am very thankful that only by God’s will we were able to reunite a few years ago!
The next day I find myself thinking about my best friend. They have some upcoming changes in their life and I am concerned for their well being. I only ask that God lead them through it all and they may not lose their foundation in God as everything changes around them. For some reason this week especially God has continually brought it to my mind to pray for them.
Then comes Thursday. I felt odd and I couldn’t describe it. I think all this stuff I’m writing about here finally came up and was sitting on top of my mind and heart. I prayed all morning through work and as I entered my lunch hour. I found myself sitting bored at lunch and texted a friend that I recently got back in touch with just about a week ago. We exchanged a few text messages while I was at lunch which was cool, and they made me laugh so it brightened my day.
Well, whatever was bothering me caused me to not finish my lunch and I went back to work and got through the day as fast as I could. I found myself at home, alone, with just my thoughts. That is when more hit me… I felt the overwhelming need to pray for the person I texted at lunch. I had this feeling off and on for a few days but it was extremely strong this day so I did. I found myself praying for them and God just didn’t take the burden from my heart. Then I began to pray for everyone else that was on my mind… the burden gets heavier.
Thankfully my best friend answered their phone and I talked to them for HOURS about EVERYTHING that I’m writing here (and more). I found some peace in that but the turmoil in my heart continued.
Friday, at least it was casual day at the office… I had lunch with another friend which always makes me laugh, but they weren’t having the best day either so that got added to my prayer list, which felt like a mile long.
Then I also found myself thinking about another friend who works for a company that I used to work at in Dublin. I recently helped (attempted to at least) them fix a car of theirs that wasn’t working. He’s been on my mind a lot and I offered prayer to him this week as well. I told them that I was in their life for a reason and I hoped that God would help me, help them somehow.
Saturday… today… it seemed like any normal day. I did some stuff I needed to get done and then found myself at home putzing around the house. When I received a phone call that would finally push me over the edge to blog like this.
I found my mom on the other end of the phone telling me that she just received a call and after working at her job for 1 year, she was told they no longer need her. She now has to look for a job. This also happening on the 5 year anniversary of my grandfather’s death.
So I come to the peak and point of this WHOLE blog post…
WHY GOD?
Yep, that is the simple question I am proposing to God. I think about the fact of everything I’m going through, why now bring all this into my life. Then I think about all the people who I know are hurting, they’re all good, Christian, people… WHY.
It was this weekend that I felt a gentle nudge from God and the scripture reference popped into my head,
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
I have to say that this is where God wants me to start.
I want to say that I am happy that God has brought each and every one of the people mentioned into my life. I know that God will never give you more than you can handle and clearly He believes that I’m ready for this, then I’m willing to take it on.
I find myself more and more realizing that I need to put all my trust in God. I think that we compartmentalize our lives. We have our personal life, social life, work, school, church, etc… and then we have our God compartment. We use this compartment during times of need and when we occasionally feel like bringing some of the other broken drawers of our life to Him for fixing.
In reality we need to make our life like a umbrella. There is a center, which should be God which all others connect to. Once we find that everything is Gods and we give everything to God, then life will change.
I’m not saying that it is a bed of roses once we do this, but it will sure be a lot easier. I think we also need to remember that during our time of need we need God more than ever. I’m reminded of a song that says
“I pray, Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there’ll
Be days When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to
Praise You Jesus, bring the rain”
- MercyMe: Bring the Rain
This is very true and there are many songs that talk about during times of suffering. God also offers hope that you will be delivered from your suffering in Job he says,
” But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction.” – Job 36:15
You see, God promises that you will be delivered and that He will meet you in your afflictions! This alone should bring some comfort as the God who created you is also offering the promise of helping you in your time of need.
As I prayed about this blog post I had hoped God would lead me through this as I’m only a mortal man trying to offer a message of hope and encouragement. As I wrote this I silently look around the room and asked God, “show me what you want me to say…”
I looked over and saw one of my Bibles had a bookmark in it. It was like something was just saying, pick it up, open it, and read what I have for you. It happened to be “The Message” translation and I had it bookmarked to Philippians, chapter 4.
My eyes were drawn to some words that jumped off the page, and let me off them to you,
“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” -Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)
WOW. Right there is a huge message to me, even in my own struggles. I hope that you can see what God is offering here. He wants to hear your concerns! Tell God just exactly how you feel.
In all honesty, throw out the formal language and talk to God like He’s a person standing in front of you. Obviously, He knows you better than anyone and longer than anyone else. Sometimes I do pray a “model prayer” and others, you’d think I was talking to my best friend.
GOD DOESN’T CARE HOW YOU TALK TO HIM JUST TALK! He would just like to hear from you. If you’re angry then tell Him! If you’re sad, hurt, confused, broken, whatever… TELL HIM! I will be 100% honest, I’ve expressed anger, hurt, love, brokenness, depression and many other emotions to God. I always find that God manages to calm me down and speak to my spirit.
I feel that we often have a spirit of “practical atheism” in our Christian walk. I’m often guilty of it and I’ll be the first to admit it. It is where we doubt God is able to do something or we offer it to God but worry about it like we don’t trust Him.
Look, God, is the great and mighty creator of this earth. I think He’s 100% capable of understanding our human needs and I think the key here for us is to leave our troubles at His feet and take our hands out of it. Many times in my life I have done this very act, and found that maybe not the next day or next week but in God’s time He took care of the situation. Always on-time and always in-time but also always on God’s time.
I think that this message of hope that I’m trying to deliver needs to be offered with that fact to keep in mind that as this is all promised to us we have to do the following:
1. Trust God for it
2. and trust Him for it on His schedule
We cannot simply ask God for something and then wait for Him to fix it on our schedule. God has a purpose for His timing in our lives. I believe my life from the age 15 to the present is an ever going testament for that fact. I have had a lot of (at least to me) earth shattering events happen in my life but perfectly timed out in God’s plan and as I look back, I’m able to be where I am today due to these events.
So if you’re facing a time of difficulty, look UP. Look to the one who created you, who gives you life and breath. HE will be the one who can fix everything. You also have to LEAVE IT with God. Don’t bring it to God and then hold onto your problems and try to fix them yourself. God will guide you, IF YOU LET HIM. He will guide you through your struggles and He will show you the way out of them.
When you offer your problems ask for God’s peace and then rest in the fact that you’ve given them to the one and only person that can truly solve them. He will never fail you, leave you or forsake you. Hold onto these promises you have read here and others that you can easily find in God’s word.
For each and every one of you that are reading this, I’m praying for you. I hope that God will let you know that I am praying for you. Sometimes that just makes it that much easier to walk through these times. I hope that this post helps someone out there. If anything this was God’s way of getting me to realize that I too need to give some more stuff over to Him and let Him guide me through my own personal struggles.
Comments are more than welcomed and are encouraged. I only ask that you keep them relevant to the post and anything irrelevant will either be deleted or not approved. If you have my phone number or e-mail please feel free to contact me that way as well if you feel so led to after reading this.
God Bless,
- John
P.S. The title was four small words that came to me when I sat down. Possibly a message from God? That’s for you to decide…
