JohnMassie.com

Well, like I posted a while back, life has been quite “action packed” lately. I have been so busy I just haven’t had time to post about everything going on. So, I am sitting at work, in the dark, listening to my ipod. I figured this would be a great time to do some blog maintenance.

Lets begin back a week ago. Last week I spent my Saturday doing the “Race for the Cure” event downtown with 37,000+ people. It is something I always enjoy doing and it’s for a great cause so I feel like my small donation of time, support and money helps.

I have been enjoying work, a lot. I am making a few friends and the environment is awesome. I have been working after I get home on some side work stuff, which I always enjoy. This and working around the house has filled my time during the week. On the weekend it seems that I’m never home, I’m running around doing different stuff.

So, this last weekend I went with a friend of mine to go look at a car. We won’t even go there, let’s just say that I will be writing a complaint letter to a dealership where I have purchased 2 vehicles and assisted in two other purchases. After that I spent the evening with my friend, swapped life stories, and that was about it.

Sunday I spent with my mom and grandma. We went to Applebees and I talked both my mom and grandma into getting the “Cowboy Burger”… which is completely out of their realm as far as food goes, they both liked it, I was surprised. I also took the time to do my laundry and fill out some college stuff while at their house.

Sunday evening I spent partially sleeping, partially on the phone and partially watching TV. I didn’t do much… Then this morning I was able to set my alarm wrong, so I got up too early, sliced my thumb open while cooking breakfast and almost be late to work. GREAT DAY! Then of course the phone has not even rung one bit… so it has been super quite.

Tonight, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Clean… yardwork… balance the national debt that is my checkbook… we’ll see I guess. Oh, you’ll also notice that I upgrade to WordPress 2.2. I think this is “supposed” to fix my e-mail issues… but we’ll see. I’ll post more on this later after I get some maintenance time in on the blog.

Later,
- J

This was one action packed weekend… I’ll try and blog about it tonight.

Later,
- J -

Today, “Mother’s Day”… What a joyous holiday to celebrate our mothers. I was lucky enough to spend this day with not only my mother but also my grandmother. I began the day by oversleeping and quickly getting ready for church which I was able to share with my mother and grandmother. I feel extra special on this day to have my mother, because she didn’t have to be my mother. I am proud to say that my mother, chose to be my mother. I have an idea of what my life would have been like otherwise, and I can truly attest that God has watched of me from the moment I was born, because only by His grace was I given this life and a wonderful mother that I have. I am proud to say that I’m adopted and trust me, to know my mother, you would know that she treats me as if she gave birth to me.

She loves me so much and if you attempt to ever separate us by labeling me as her “adopted son” you may not be living to finish your sentence. Not to say that she is ashamed of me being adopted but she feels there is no need for that segregation that some feel need to be there. Thanks to her I’ve become the person that I am. I thank God every day that she raised me to know Jesus at a personal level. Sure, neither of us are perfect but I look back on my childhood and I wouldn’t change a thing. I think I had the best childhood any kid could have because I not only had an awesome Mom but she also believed in being my friend. I remember growing up that other parents would scoff at her “parenting techniques” and say that it is impossible to be your child’s friend and also be their parent. Trust me, I never got away with anything… but she was always my friend.

I watched my mom through the 19 years I lived at home, sacrifice. She did everything in her power to give me the best of everything. I could spend the rest of my life trying to return the gesture and I don’t think I would even make a drop in the bucket in comparison for what she gave up for me. Thanks Mom… I love you.

As if that isn’t emotional enough for me to write, there’s more…

You’ve all seen one side of John… but you haven’t seen John the writer. The one inspired by his Creator… It’s been a long time since I’ve opened up and shared my heart. God set in motion a series of events today that has lead up to this moment where I feel led to share.

Today we finished our “Wide Angle – Framing Your Worldview” series and Pastor Mark Fuller preached the final sermon in this series. I have been faithful to not miss one service since this series began. Why, you may ask? I felt like I had no “worldview”. I felt that I had no way of “framing” what I viewed of the world. Sure I think that in some aspect I may have had several “worldviews” all dependent on different situations and what was happening in my life.

As the series progressed I decided that I wanted this “new” worldview… which I found out in the end was only “re-framing” my current worldview and then applying that worldview to everything.

I will admit that I’m a sinner and I’m not perfect. Many seem to think that because I wear the tag of Christian that I am a perfect human being. I have no emotion and I have no feelings and I have no worldly nature. People think that I should act a certain way that they have pictured in their mind as what a “Christian” is… whether that is accurate or even if they themselves are Christians.

I’ve not been the greatest person in the past. I’ve been hurt and hurt others. I’ve been hurt and as a result, hurt others. I know that many people who have left my life for whatever reason read this blog and I’m sure think that they’ve been wronged by me. I think what people forget is that we’re all human and we all change and can change. I will tell you that I’m not the same person I was even yesterday.

Let me share some more background. Last year on my birthday I wasn’t even excited that it was my birthday. I struggled with where I was in life. Life felt so “blah” and dull. It was like I lost the “flavor of life”. I had lived a hard few years prior and it seemed that this last year much of it had slowed down and I was able to see clearly.

During the month of November and December, God and I had a lot of talks and many moments of quiet. On New Years of 2007 I prayed for a long time to God. I told God that I wanted to “get out on the limb” so to speak. I was tired of “holding onto the tree” and I wanted to experience LIFE as He meant it to be. I prayed that I would find MY IDENTITY and WHO He created me to BE. I woke up January 2, 2007 and was the same person I was on January 1, 2007.

I guess I expected this miraculous change overnight. Instead of running and getting mad at God… I prayed and waited. Things began to change… bad things turned out to be good things. Situations that upset me, only redirected my life and reorganized my priorities. It caused me to take a long hard look at who I was becoming and to begin to give that up to God.

I was then lead away from a church that I had been attending for a year… again over something that was “bad”. When I arrived at Grove City Church of the Nazarene one member said to me, “Welcome Home”. I had found my church home and I haven’t left. I’m finding that this was all a part of God’s plan for me. During this time I also changed jobs and I’m finding that this too is a part of His will and a part of walking out on that limb.

So during this series I began changing who I was because I began framing this Christian worldview. I had one before but it wasn’t framed, it was very much a “floating” worldview if you will. Then today God brought it all together.

So as a Christian we need to live as Christ did. Basic, simple enough, something I’ve known for years. Here are the eight things we need to live with:

1. With Discernment
2. With Integrity
3. With Humility
4. With Possibility
5. With Hospitality
6. With Charity
7. With Generosity
8. With (His) Priority

I hate to seem like I’m going to re-write a sermon… but in a sense I feel I should. I don’t expect anyone to read all this but maybe it is just for me to “re-live” all these points today to remind myself that as I move forward… this is my new worldview.

1. With Discernment
- Basically live and measure everything to make sure that it is truth. God clearly says in Luke 11:35 “Make sure that the light you think you have is not really darkness.” I know many people that say, “I love God and God loves me” yet lives a horrible life of sin… Right there,the”light” they think that they have is darkness…

2. With Integrity
- I struggle here. I was found a name for what I’ve had in the past. “Compartmentalized Faith”; something that is where I am a Christian but instead of putting God in everything and brining everything to Him… I place Him in my life where convenient. A good example of why this doesn’t work is if I go out on a boat and drill a hole in one side of the boat… will only that side sink? No, the whole boat will… Well, much is like our lives. If we begin only allowing God into certain parts of our lives… the rest of our lives are like big holes in the boat.

The verse here is Luke 11:36 “If you are filled with light, with no dark parts, then your WHOLE life will be RADIANT…”

3. With Humility
- Humility is not saying “I can’t or I really…”. Humility has nothing to do with “I”. Humility is dependency on God. Pastor Mark mentioned that when our stress levels are high… we are lacking in humility. I should have no stress if truly relying on God.

Matthew 5:3 “God blesses those who realize their need for Him…”

4. With Possibility
- Living with an attitude that I have faith and trust in God. A verse many have heard says, “With God everything is possible.” (Matthew 19:26). I found myself today in church thinking about how much I have subconsciously thought to be “impossible for God”. I laugh now at my stupidity and have since changed my attitude… but stop to think, is there anything you doubt God for?

5. With Hospitality
- I attempt my best to do with this. I give as much as I can can and help everyone I can in need. I’m just wired like that… I typically always got the character award in school for hospitality. The key is that for any hospitality we show, it is as if we’re showing it unto God…

6. With Charity
- This goes hand in hand with Hospitality. This deals with loving my enemies. It’s hard to do, I will tell you that. I try with God’s help every day to love those people and pray for them. This is something that God’s working on right now in my life to help me deal with people that brings the not so great side of me ou and with people who hurt me

7. With Generosity
- Something I have to remind myself every day of, “It’s All God’s Money”. I try my best to tithe and give beyond but I find myself doubting if God will come through. Then that goes back to points 3 and 4. I need to find that strength in God to give of my money and time and that HE will provide. Don’t act like God doesn’t understand mortgage payments and God’s not going to provide you something and then tell you to find your own way of supporting it. It’s all about giving back to God and He will give unto you. I’m trusting God for miracles in my life in the area of generosity and I hope that I can see God’s promises come true in my very own life

8. With His Priority
- My pastor made a bold statement today… One I will write down and remember because it was SO true:

“Worry is only practical atheism”

You see, I never thought of it like that… When you worry about something you’re not trusting that God will do His will. In an essence you’re doubting GOD. If you doubt God, you’re an atheist…. Therefore, worry is practical atheism. When Pastor Mark made this statement I felt so shocked as I never thought of worry like that. I have a whole new attitude that I never want to doubt God… I want to get ride of worry and stress. To do this I need to live with HIS Priority in my life and those will fade.

“Only people who don’t know God are always worrying… your Father knows what you need. But PUT GOD’S WORK FIRST, and these other things will be yours as well.” – Luke 12:30-31

“If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to Me, you’ll find both yourself and Me.” Matthew 10:39 (The Message)

That last verse… hit home. I talked earlier about trying to find who God wanted me to be… Well, there’s my answer on how to find that person. I need to stop searching for me and seek out God in a way that I’ve never done before. I’ve been told that I have great faith as I’ve always trusted God… but I’m about to bring it to a whole new level. I want to find myself and to do that I need to look to God and in Him I will find ME.

I hope that this will show that moving forward I have a new worldview. I’m going to “test God at His promises” as they say. I hope that through my life people will see that the Bible is true and that this life I’ve chosen as a Christian isn’t some made up story to “control people” or to only give something for people to “believe in”. No, I pray that God can use my life as a radiant image that God is alive in His people and that His word, the Bible, still is true.

After this moving service, I was driving home and heard a song on the radio. This was all prompted by a new song by MercyMe. After listening to it, I think that THIS song shows exactly where I’ve been, what I’m praying now, and where I am going… So I leave you tonight with the lyrics.

Bring The Rain
MercyMe

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

(Chorus)
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain
So I pray

(Chorus)

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Good Night and God Bless,
- J -

So, I’m drawing a lot of attention with this blog and my recent purchase of the HP Pavillion DV6338se. I have recently been getting a lot of questions regarding this laptop and want to publicly answer these questions regarding this notebook.

XP Performance
- During the time in which the PC wasn’t working, I attempted to limp along with using it with Microsoft Windows XP Professional Service Pack 2. I will let you know that this notebook was not designed for Microsoft Windows XP and it will not run on Microsoft Windows XP. I attempted to do everything in my power to get this to run. The Vista drivers that I located for this notebook would not load in XP and I was left with a somewhat working laptop. Performance, wasn’t that great due to the lakc of driver support. Long story short, if you want this notebook, you better want Microsoft Windows Vista as well.

The Memory
- The notebook comes standard with 1GB of memory, two 512MB of PC5300 (DDR2) Ram. As with working with this and Vista, it seems fine. I would say that for the average – midrange user this will be plenty, even with Vista. I am known for my multi-tasking ability and I’ve not been able to kill this laptop just yet. Obviously, the more memory the better, but that goes for any computer. Remember, if you want to upgrade, you need to buy in pairs, so the next step would be to buy two 1GB sticks of ram to bring the total to 2GB. I recommend NewEgg.com for memory purchase, should you want to upgrade.

Overall Performance
- As I stated before, I feel the laptop does hold its own, taking into consideration it is running Vista. Thanks to the AMD Turion 64×2 processor, the dual core is very noticeable as long as you are using applications that can take use of the two processor cores. I can tell you that from a basic Windows standpoint this runs much faster than my single core desktop machine on Vista. I think that for the users, Erik and Stephanie, who both wanted to know about performance, for the tasks that you are describing that should work fine. I do a little more than basic computing and this laptop meets my expectations, and I’m in IT…

Computer Running Hot/Keyboard?
- Stephanie asked if I though the PC ran too hot. I personally use it 90% of the time in the Expansion Base with an external mouse and keyboard. I do however, find myself outside writing from time to time and the only problem I have is the extended batter that can feel kind of awkward when trying to use it on your lap, until you get used to it and adjust accordingly. As for it running hot, I have had it on all day today and it is “warm” to say the least. It is still cool enough that I could put it on my lap and not be uncomfortable. As you can see I am an amateur writer, with this blog and I too love this HP notebook and I think it does well and I am comfortable with they keyboard, even with my big hands.

I will be quite honest about my small bit of hate against Vista. I was also an early adopter of Microsoft Windows XP Professional when it came out (I was a beta tester for XP). I will be honest that I hated XP in the beginning and spent a lot of time going back and forth between it and Microsoft Windows 2000. Then SP1 came out and I was a little more happy and then finally SP2 came out and I was completely satisfied with it.

I see myself doing the same thing with Vista. As I’m finding out where Microsoft moved this or that I can get adjusted and turn off certain things and enable others. I think I am going to keep this laptop as I have the official HP Restore DVD (which I would recommend to anyone, they’re only $15.00 on the HP site). I am actually writing this article from my HP Pavillion DV6338se (RV009UA#ABA) and I’m back on Vista. I’m working on uninstalling everything I don’t use, disabling startup items and other various annoyances I am finding, but overall… I think I’ll keep it.

As for there not being many reviews… I think this falls between “budget” and “mid-range” laptop so it doesn’t attract everyone. Most people want either basic or advanced, there isn’t too many that search for the “budget” price with a “mid-range” performance. Please keep the questions coming, I’m more than happy to share or answer anything about this laptop. I’m hoping that as my schedule clears up I can compile my last few posts on this laptop and combine it to make a complete review of this laptop.

Thanks again, hopefully this clears up everyones questions for now. Comments are excellent, and I appreciate them as it lets me know that what I’m posting actually is helping everyone out there.

Good Night,
- J -

So, I was looking on MySpace and saw that the latest bulletin was by a band that I have as one of my friends. A lot has been changing in my life lately… I found this song fitting. Analyze as you will…

False Pretense
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

It’s time to let it go…

The world’s got a funny way of turning ’round on you
When a friend tries to stab you right in the face
Losing faith in everything I thought I hoped I knew
Don’t sweat it, (it was) set on false pretense

Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
And it doesn’t seem likely to fade
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
cu cu cu cuz ya know…..

chorus:
It’s Sacrifice
False pretense you’ll hurt again
Stop pretending to deny
False pretense you’ll hurt again

All along you know you thought you got the best of me
But you were wrong and I am laughing right in your face
I can not believe you claimed you were my family
Don’t sweat it – it’s set on false pretense

Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
And it doesn’t seem likely to fade
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
cu cu cu cuz ya know…..

(chorus)

It’s time to let it go

I can’t seem to understand it how
You turned out to be so cold
You tried but were caught red handed
Are you happy with your role?

It’s funny to me how you’ve turned into such a joke…

(chorus)

So play the game until you run out
And play the game into my hand

So, I am home now where I can write about more indepth of what is going on. So, the PC is clearly made for Vista only, I’ve tried to get the Vista drivers to run on XP, and it just won’t work. I have most of the basic functions of the laptop working but then again, I don’t have any of the included HP software either since I’m not on Vista. I am getting the DVDs this week by Wednesday, so that will be nice.

As much as I do like this laptop, I’m putting some serious thought into selling everything on ebay and going back to a Mac. “SHUT THE FRONT DOOR” (and if you don’t get that, go watch Ugly Better for this week). Gasp, I know… I have to say that in my 4 years of owning a PowerBook G4, it survived 4 OS upgrades, and not once did it ever give me an issues, clear up to the day I sold it. However, I know that the MacBook Pro series is going to go through some MAJOR changes in the coming months with the new Mac OS X 10.5 and LED back lighting for screens… I hate to go buy one and then find all these major design changes. I think I *may* go and get a Mac Mini setup for home or then again I might get just the MacBook. I could also build a desktop PC… I just don’t know at this point. Then again, I may go back to Vista one last time and this time, do some serious hacking at the OS to strip out everything I don’t use. Who knows, I am going to think about it this week.

In other news, I am getting the house project started. I’m getting quotes this week to have the bathroom / great room fixed. From this point the insurance company will evaluate and pay out the money to get everything fixed. I am hoping to add some of my own money to the mix as well to hopefully get some upgrades (like a full size shower and real tile floors). I will post more on this as I find out more information.

Other than that and my mile long to-do list… that’s about it. I just take life as it comes at me and see where God takes me. So, with that, I’m going to get off of here and get ready for bed.

Good Night,
- J -

So, I woke up Saturday to find my laptop attempting to run some Vista Startup Repair Utility… and it failed. Long story short, one WinPE, DosPE, and External HD later… I got my files off this blown up NTFS partition that Vista sets on. I put XP on the laptop and guess what, HP did not make this laptop XP compatible. Unless I start writing my own drivers… I have a laptop that isn’t very full features.

I have recovery discs coming with Vista to try again, but I’m thinking that my laptop may soon appear on ebay… More on this later.

-J-

Today, is a bad day, and it is only 11:30 AM…

*Cue Daniel Powter Song*

More on this later,
- J -

So, I’m working on this blog and we’ve upgraded to a new version of WordPress sometime ago and now we’re running on a new version of the theme that I use (redoable). Well, it fixed a few things, and broke others. I’m going to try and spend this weekend working on fixing the rest of the outstanding issues with this blog. Hopefully I can get the knocked out.

I was excited to see some interesting replies to my review. I’ll try and work on going more indepth this weekend into Vista and the downfalls that I find with it. Also, I will attempt to get my laptop backed up and load Windows XP SP2 with Updates for April 2007 (32 Bit Edition) and test this laptop out. It will be interesting to see if there is a noticeable difference between XP than Vista (which I’m sure there will be).

Today was a long day at work. I feel that the rest of my week will be about the same as well. I still like it though, I enjoy what I do, which is important. I also like the people I work with, which also makes the day go by just that much easier.

So be on the lookout for some more posting, I just wanted to share some thoughts. My cousin Jennifer had a song on her myspace page which I really liked, so I downloaded it on iTunes and wanted to share the lyrics as I leave…

Later,
- J -

The Unwinding Cable Car
Anberlin

Emotive unstable you’re like an unwinding cable car
Listening for voices, but it’s the choices that make us who we are
Go your own way, even seasons have changed just burn those new leaves over
So self-absorbed you’ve seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about

This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don’t drop your arms)
Don’t drop your arms, I’ll guard your heart
With quiet words I’ll lead you in

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home
You’ve been misguided, you’re hiding in shadows for so very long
Don’t you believe that you’ve been deceived that you’re no better than…
The hair in your eyes, it never disguised what you’re really thinking of

This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don’t drop your arms)
Don’t drop your arms, I’ll guard your heart
With quiet words I’ll lead you in

This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don’t drop your arms)
Don’t drop your arms, I’ll guard your heart
With quiet words I’ll lead you in

You’re so brilliant, don’t soon forget
You’re so brilliant, grace marked your heart
You’re so brilliant, don’t soon forget
You’re so brilliant, grace marked your heart
You’re so brilliant (This is the correlation)
Don’t soon forget (Between salvation and love, don’t drop your arms)
You’re so brilliant (I’ll guard your heart)
Grace marked your heart (With quiet words I’ll lead you in and out of the dark)

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
(Don’t drop your arms)
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don’t drop your arms)
Don’t drop your arms, I’ll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I’ll lead you in

This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don’t drop your arms)
Don’t drop your arms, I’ll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I’ll lead you in