Wow, so it’s been over three years, and I can’t believe I’m going to do this. I will begin as of today, May 26, 2006, to close down my xanga. I’ve gotten three good years out of it, but I believe it is time for a change. I’m beginning to really grasp the whole “blogging” thing and need to move to a service that will meet my needs better. I think WordPress has won my vote (and business). So, I will begin porting this blog over to WordPress.

The awesome thing is that my WordPress blog will have a lot more features and you will be able to find posts a lot easier  (categorize and stuff). So, please excuse this interruption in posting as I convert sites and prepare to close this one. Also, for all you non-xanga users you can leave me comments on WordPress without registering! I can also link it to an online photo album and a bunch of other cool stuff.

So you all want to know where the new blog will be? This new site is much, much, much easier to get to. It’s simply:

Easy enough I suppose. It’s going to take me a while to get everything moved, but in the meantime I will try and keep posting on the new site (once it is up) and then you all will begin to see the archives appear.

Take it easy,
- J -

I come rumbling down the side street I live off of in my friend’s Bright Red 2001 Dodge Dakota SLT, with some nice pipes for the exhaust system. I have to say, I made some noise as I made my grand entrance to this little village I live in. I pull in the driveway and manage to fit the truck in the garage between the wall, steps, mulch, dirt, and other various things that call home to my garage. I shut the door and go inside. Another day, done.

I go upstairs and change into some really dirty and plain clothes. I took my glasses up, messed my hair up and put some flip-flops on. I was planning on working out in my yard, but sadly the weather didn’t permit for such action. So I was checking my e-mail as I was trying to figure out what I was going to do for the evening.

Suddenly I hear the ever familiar chimes of my door bell. I thought, who could that be? So I run down the steps looking like I do and was greeted at the door by a young man maybe 16 or 17. He was very much close to my age and by the way I looked, he could tell. The young guy smiled nicely when I came to the door and ever so politely asked, “Hi dude, is your mom or dad home?”

Now, freeze this moment in time. I am standing there and it’s like everything is frozen as the phrase hits me. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to try and hold in my humor and answer his question seriously or just tell him that they weren’t home. I manage to crack a smile and say, “Well, I’m actually the owner of the house.”

At this point I was trying to not laugh because his face was priceless. I startled him so much that he was having a bit of a problem getting his speech together for his sale presentation of his candy bars for the Youth of America. Sadly, I didn’t have any cash otherwise I would have purchased a candy bar from this young man who absolutely made my day.

Well, it may not have amused you, but it sure did me. I sit here as I type out this story trying to still hold my laughter…

Well, gotta run, just thought I’d share!

- J -

So, I checked out that song, and I love it! I downloaded the live version. Thanks Lindsay! It wasn’t quite the same thing I was feeling, but I still loved it. I am excited, I get a three day weekend this week! In addition, I’m going to borrow my friends 2001 Dodge Dakota tomorrow through Sunday. I need to get some stuff done around the house outside, and my Altima just doesn’t have the hauling capcity I need.

Well, unknown to many, I just completed a project that took place after I worked 8-5 at my normal job. Yeah, nothing like a second job for a few weeks to bring in some extra cash. My last night was Monday, so I finally have a few days to catch-up on… life. I also have a few more dollars in the bank to buy some house stuff.

Lets see, what else. I am working on some other stuff that I can’t mention on here, but if you ask me, I’ll let you know. I need to get a hold of Brian this week, it’s hard to believe he’s 18 now. I remember when he was 15 . Wow, how time has flown by. Sounds like he’s turned out to be a fine young man. I haven’t seen him in person, for almost a year now, sadly. That’s what happens when you both work yourselves to death, go to school and try to do things with church and have a life on top of that. Maybe I can get a hold of him and get him to come up and see the house.

I don’t have much else to report, except that I am tired, and I am getting ready for bed… I hope you all have a great day tomorrow!

Good Night and God Bless,
- J -  

I am home now. Much better…

- J -

HOME

That is all….
- J -

Here is the rundown of the weekend, as follows:
- I am in Komen’s Race for the Cure tomorrow morning with some friends from work
- I am then going to Chillicothe to see a sixth grade baseball game (it’s opening day of the season tomorrow)
- I’m then going to visit my friend’s family
- Somewhere inbetween this all I’m washing and doing a VERY quick detail to the Grand Am since it hasn’t seen a car wash since I gave it to my mom and grandma.
- I’m looking to buy yet another car. Something cheap to replace the Grand Am as I’m taking it back to the shop for the third time to have the same problem fixed in under a year. I’m going to get nasty this time and demand my money back because this shop in Westerville is a crock. The car has literally only had 500 miles put on it and it is leaking again, I’m fed up. The problem is warrantied to it cost me nothing to fix, but my family (who drives it) is still without a car.
- Sunday, church as always. Wrapping up the DaVinci Code series… My pastor has done an EXCELLENT job on all the sermons. Very excited for this next message.
- Sunday afternoon, work on the house. Mow the yard, pay bills, wash the Altima.
- Sunday evening, visit some friends and get some much needed rest.

That’s the weekend as of this moment, it always changes as usual, but I can attempt to plan… right? lol.

Night,
- J -

I also received an e-mail clearing up some comments left on my Xanga. Pronouns are such tricky things. Thanks Jennifer for clearing everything up. Once again, all is right in the world…

Have an EXCELLENT weekend everyone!

- J -

Dear Friends, I come to you tonight after browsing my comments section. I found a list of scripture verse that were meant to demise the post that I had left a few days ago. The same post that blessed many, evidentially upset, one. I read each passage with an open mind and prayerful heart. I began my Biblical search not in anger but with passion to show my faith. Clearly, if you read this post, I speak throughout the entire entry that GOD was the one who did everything for me. I simply wanted to share the blessings that God has provided not to boastful for arrogant, but to show that God provides and does take care of you, even when you feel like things will NEVER work out.

As I prayed and began to search my Bibles, I was lead to this passage in Psalms that I wanted to begin with, as I feel God spoke to me through these words, and tonight, this is my prayer…

“GOD, get me out of here, away from this evil; protect me from these vicious people.
    All they do is think up new ways to be bad;
    they spend their days plotting war games.
    They practice the sharp rhetoric of hate and hurt,
    speak venomous words that maim and kill.
    GOD, keep me out of the clutch of these wicked ones,
    protect me from these vicious people;
    Stuffed with self-importance, they plot ways to trip me up,
    determined to bring me down.
    These crooks invent traps to catch me
    and do their best to incriminate me.

 I prayed, “GOD, you’re my God!
    Listen, GOD! Mercy!
    GOD, my Lord, Strong Savior,
    protect me when the fighting breaks out!
    Don’t let the wicked have their way, GOD,
    don’t give them an inch!”
   

 These troublemakers all around me–
    let them drown in their own verbal poison.
    Let God pile hellfire on them,
    let him bury them alive in crevasses!
    These loudmouths–
    don’t let them be taken seriously;
    These savages–
    let the Devil hunt them down!

  
 I know that you, GOD, are on the side of victims,
    that you care for the rights of the poor.
    And I know that the righteous personally thank you,
    that good people are secure in your presence.”
-Psalm 140 (The Message)

Ever since I posted that post and received such wonderful feedback I have also received nothing but opposition. I was always told in life by pastors and dear Christians friends that you will always know when you’re hot and on fire for God and doing His will because Satan will meet you with opposition. Whether it be in simply ruing your day or fighting you with scripture, it’ll always be there when you’re follow God and HE is on your side.

I believe Jesus speaks on opposition like I am currently facing:
“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
-Matthew 5:11-12

You may be surprised that I say that Satan will fight you with scripture. This is very true, was it not Satan who argued with Jesus when He was in the wilderness and used scripture to do so (Luke 4:1-13)? You see, Satan is not all-knowing as God is. Satan will fight you with whatever he can. Some of us, like myself, scripture is 110% true and I know, accept and believe that with all my heart. So what better way to fight me, than to give me words that are from this book that I believe in with all my heart. Because if supposedly this book tells me I am wrong, then I must be. Makes logical sense, doesn’t it?

However, when you know God and have a RELATIONSHIP like I spoke about in my previous post, you’re able to find out that the very same scripture you’re fought with was taken out of context.

There were a lot of verse in there talking about boast and not being humble. A. Humility would be honoring God for giving me everything. B. God says in His word that He will bless you, just as I have been blessed.

“My son, do not forget my teaching,
       but keep my commands in your heart,

 for they will prolong your life many years
       and bring you prosperity.

 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
       bind them around your neck,
       write them on the tablet of your heart.

 Then you will win favor and a good name
       in the sight of God and man.

 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
       fear the LORD and shun evil.

This will bring health to your body
       and nourishment to your bones.

Honor the LORD with your wealth,
       with the firstfruits of all your crops;

then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
       and your vats will brim over with new wine.

My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline
       and do not resent his rebuke,

because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
       as a father the son he delights in.”
-Proverbs 3:1-12

I also only sought to bring a message to people that I felt needed it. I was not preaching out of spite, anger, hate, or anything else. I preach what God has to say and write it down. I use my thoughts and feelings as a way to convey this message and then give it “meat” by using the scripture it stems from.

I believe that I write things out of love. Love of the fact that I don’t want to see people lost, hurt, or without God. I condemn actions and ways of life because God clearly states what is right and wrong in the Bible and I believe people need to know, so they can stop throwing their life away and find God and who He is. It seems that when I’m attacked it’s also on posts where people would somewhat be jealous or envy as scripture puts it. In addition, it’s clearly rivalry because they’re not pleased at my life and wish to tear it down. Kind of interesting that there is a passage dealing with people as such. When I have another “Christian” so to say, “preach” at me with scripture I am lead to this passage…

“It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.”
-Philippians 1:15-17

God speaks about people who use His scripture to try and prove a point, in Matthew. I believe “The Message” translation puts it the best:
“…You cancel God’s command by your rules. Frauds! Isaiah’s prophecy of you hit the bull’s-eye:

    These people make a big show of saying the right thing,
    but their heart isn’t in it.

    They act like they’re worshiping me,
    but they don’t mean it.

    They just use me as a cover
    for teaching whatever suits their fancy.”

Look at that last line, will you? “They just use me as a cover, for teaching whatever suits their fancy.” I would say that applies to “Christians” who attack others with scripture in such an arrogant and lofty attitude. They twist and use God as a “cover” to convey their point. Believe that if the use some scripture and put it in a pretty package, they can make their point, when it is not God breathed, but passes it off as if it was.

The last scripture I was lead told me what wisdom really is. You know, in that list of scriptures there was a lot about wisdom. However, these verses seemed to be missing. Maybe they weren’t found, but I find that hard to believe, since the other verses came from a TOL Graduate, who should have memorized the following…
“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”
-James 3:13-18

I will be the first to tell you I am far from perfect, and I do make mistakes. I won’t lie and tell you that I don’t have pride or self righteousness. However, I do not let these things rule or run my life. Every day I account everything that happens to me, for the glory of my God.

When bad things happen to me, I go to God. I give them to Him and ask him to take care of me. I tell Him that I can’t handle it and I don’t want to handle it. I tell God that I need Him. I cannot save myself, and that fact is the most humbling of them all.

To go further I do not boast in what I have. I am blessed, and I know that. I take pride in what I have, but I do not put down others who lack. God blesses each of His children, but many in different ways. Some of us are materially blessed and others are blessed with different elements. I also work for what I am blessed with. I did not wake up one day and was given all that I have, I worked and obeyed God and His will and this is where it has taken me. I am following God, not man.

Take my friend Hope for example. She’s a wonderful woman of God and I’d love to use her in this example of mine. You see, Hope is my age, she’s a working student and lives at home. She has a car, and gas to put in it. She has food to eat and family who loves her. She has great things like her health and a computer to use and a phone to talk on. She’s blessed with friends who love her.

You see, then you have me. I am a man of God and I am Hope’s age, also a working student and live in a home of my own. I have a car, and gas to put in it. I have food to eat and family, who doesn’t live too far away, who loves me. I have my health and a computer to use and cell phone to do my talking on. I’m also blessed with friends who love me.

Yet, somehow, I am horrible, arrogant, self righteous, pompous, person who must not love God too much because I’m not humble enough. So, the next time Hope posts something about her car, or loving family or food or her computer, I guess she too is a horrible, arrogant, self righteous, pompous person who doesn’t love God either.

If you read the scripture that was presented as a comment to the post I made, about the blessings God’s given me and how He’s brought me through tough times and lead me into a time of blessing, those scriptures were meant to condemn me. So using the logic of the poster, then this comment would apply to all of us when we share our blessings with people. Wait, or does this for some reason only apply to me? Maybe it’s because life is going well for me and not for some? That God seems to be taking care of me and blessing me in general, and many, like I said in that post, only want to see bad come in my life?

So the next time someone asks you, “What has God done for you lately?” You better say, “Nothing at all”, because according to this person, if you answer anything else, you’d be considered lacking in humility.

I apologize to you, who left me this comment. Clearly, I upset you by something I said. Something that had to do with sin, humility, and way of life. I cannot, however, retract the word of God. It is not something that I can twist to justify something that you don’t agree with. Maybe it’s the conviction of God driving you to write such a comment. However, as you can see, at almost six pages later, this is what God truly has to say. Read, for this scritpure could speak for itself, without my commentary in between.

I know many believe that I am not a Christian. I know many that chose to judge me, to hate me, to dislike me, and to hope that someday I’ll die and spend my time in hell for eternity. To them who wish to judge me, that’s fine. Remember, Jesus speaks on looking out for your own sins before pointing out others.

I may remember sins that people have committed against me, but I don’t harbor the anger, envy, hurt, or pain that goes with these sins. I am human, and to be human it is hard to truly “forgive and forget”. I however, do forgive.

One last area that I did not touch was the scripture regarding Jesus reaching out to those who are lost, not the saved. I am a firm believer in reaching the lost. However, reaching the lost does not mean compromising the very morals the Bible teaches. I am constantly hated because I do not tolerate such behavior. I reach the lost every day through my life and my witness and my testimony. I find and seek those longing to meet the one person who can save them, from anything and everything. Jesus.

However, if you think, me agreeing with cursing, profanity, drinking, drugs, and other such sins as these, is not reaching the lost, you are wrong. I preach and teach a message of unconditional love. Keeping in mind, that you must change, once you meet Jesus. You cannot live your former life as is being in the world. We are called to be different, and that my friends, means not tolerating such behavior.

So when you think that I am a horrible person because I refuse to accept people that are like this, then you go ahead. Just remember, I am here to witness to them, and many people think that if I am their friend, then that means I accept all their wrong actions, even when I say I don’t. So sometimes the only way you’ll ever reach a person is to show just how far you will not tolerate their actions, but also reminding them that you love them with the love of Christ.

There, is some cold, hard, scriptural references to backup my actions. Comments are always welcome and I am sure I will get bashed for this one, but let the trials come, because My God, who is on My Side, will ALWAYS prevail.

God Bless and Good Night,
- J -
 

This morning I woke to a chilly atmosphere around me. I quickly came to my senses as I breathed this icy vapor and went into the bathroom to turn the shower on. I ran the hot water as I sprinted down to the thermostat. After jumping up and down to keep warm in front of the thing, I got the heat to kick back on. I then ran up stairs to take my shower and get ready for work. Today was jeans day, which was cool.

I finish all of my morning routine and I gather everything and get in the car. I head out and get to work right on time. I walked in and my co-worker read my Xanga post and so did his wife. They both sent me beautiful e-mails regarding my last post and I felt quite humbled, honored, and blessed.  I thought, “Great, today is going to be awesome!” Well, it wasn’t. I had a rough time at work and some more rough times after work. It was all around a horrible day.

Oh, but the irony… The day after I write a huge post that many seemed to enjoy and get something from, I’m attacked and have a horrible day. Now, many would just forget it and let it get to them, yet tonight I’ve been upbeat about the whole thing. My joy stems from the inner joy I have in my relationship with Christ. My daily prayer and hope is that joy can spill over into my life and I always can be happy, even when things aren’t so “happy”.

Thank you to all who left a comment, I really appreciated the words. It really inspires me to keep on writing. There’s so much stuff like that I have inside that I’ve never put to paper. Last night was only a taste of what I feel and think. I guess tonight I’ll share some other thoughts…

I hate it when people use the word religion to describe what I believe in. I belong to the “Jesus is not a Religion” and “Christianity… a relationship… not a religion.” blog ring for a reason. So many people today are looking for religion. Christianity is NOT religion. It is a RELATIONSHIP and WAY OF LIFE. I do not just believe in something, I live it out in my daily life. I never quite understood the line in the song, “Fields of Grace” that said, “There’s a place where religion will finally die.” Then in the live version everyone shouts and yells. When I first heard the song I was quite confused, but now that I am older, it make perfect sense.

Religion is the very thing that as Christians we do not want. We want and need relationships with God and make Christianity a way of life for us. It needs to be the very thing that defines us. I pray for the day when people point at me and say, “He’s one of those ‘Christians’”. I want people to know I am one heck of a “Jesus Freak”.

I am always looking for new ways to add God to my daily life. I’ve started listening to Christian music at my desk, and I think I’m going to get some religious items from Lifeway to set on my desk. I’d also like to bring my Bible and leave it on my desk (and read it on my lunch break). Now, don’t get me wrong, these aren’t ways to “show” you are a Christian, but sometimes they help as good reminders in your everyday life. I find myself less stressed when I listen to worship music when I work, because it puts me in a very worshipful mood and gets me thinking and praying while I work.

I’d love to share more, but I am tired and I have to get up tomorrow morning pretty early. I’ll think about some stuff tomorrow while I am out and take down some notes as my day goes by so I can come home and write something deep and meaningful. As always, suggestions are welcomed, I can’t say that I can write about it, but I’ll most certainly think about it and try as long as they’re worth while. In addition, comments are extremely appreciated!

Good Night and God Bless,
- J -

I woke to the sound of falling rain dancing on the windowsill. I rolled over to look out the window and my eyes drank in the beauty of God’s creation. Even on a rainy day, I fathom in the magnificent wonder that is our God. I rolled back over to the clock to see that I was late. I sprang up out of bed and rushed through my morning routine. A quick prayer as I flew out the garage door to begin another day.

I looked down; 7:34 read the clock in the car. “Just in time”, I quietly said to myself as I checked my mirrors and backed slowly out of the garage. I then began my trek to the office and just gazed as I drove on the freeway. Avoiding accidents and putting that defensive driving class that I took as a young teenager to use. I then arrived safe and sound in my parking lot at work ready to begin yet another day.

Fast forward to around lunchtime. I walk nonchalantly over to my co-worker. As we do many days, I propose the daily question, “what are you doing for lunch?” Some chatter between the both of us and we figure we’ll visit the local pizza buffet. You can’t beat an all you can eat pizza trough and unlimited beverage for only $5.75! We flow down the line and grab what looks good to then take our seats. I quietly pray over my food and ask God to bless the friend I am with and to help our friendship strengthen. He bows his head and prays over the “feast” set before him as well.

Small talk begins as usual; asking about the wife and kids, the house, the dog, the ailing cars, sports, etc… Then the topic turns to some discussion of church, faith, and in general a Christian walk. He sparked something inside of me that, little did I know, would carry with me the rest of the day. I just couldn’t get it off my mind, constantly reliving the moments we had that as quickly as they began, they soon ended as we had to get back to our jobs.

The day progressed and it was what occupied my foremost mind. Then as I went into the evening hours I had dinner with some other co-workers, and then went shopping with a close friend (also a co-worker). Over the past year of working with this person, we’ve become quite good friends (or at least I think so). I’m glad I’ve gotten to know them and their family, it’s quite cool.

As I drove home I had a small “worship session” as I listened to 104.9 The River (local Christian Radio). You know, just praising God on my way home and continued to think about everything I discussed today at lunch.

I walked in the door and I just had this feeling, no, stronger than a feeling. I had an overwhelming sense that I needed to write. I thought, to who or to what God? Xanga is my space to express who I am and my thoughts, so I figure, what better place. I’ve prayed before I sat down at this keyboard to pen or type these words out.

I guess my topic would be, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I know that many of us ask this when we’re going through a hard time, lost a loved one, or have a horrible day. Murphy’s law applies here as well, whenever things are horrible for you, the guy next door who’s the worst person on the planet just got a raise, promotion, new car and a plasma TV on the same day that you feel that you define what it means to feel like crap.

Many times in my life I’ve questioned this myself. Why do bad things happen to me? I try to be the best person I can and live a good life, where is this karma crap everyone talks about? (small bit of humor there if you didn’t see it) As I am older now I look back on my “bad moments”. You know places where nothing went right and all you could see is crap.

In retrospect, I’m glad it happened. God’s brought me so much further since then. I know that if I was to go through another crappy time, I’d whine and cry a little. I’m not perfect, and I am human. I however, take it to God.

The scripture that I hold tight to is this one found in Jeremiah 29:11:
“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future….’”

The Message translation puts it like this:
“… I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised… I know what I’m doing. I have it all planed out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, planes to give you the future you hope for.”

Now, trust me, when you see things around you and it looks bleak, I can understand that these words don’t feel like much of a “material” thing you can hold onto. I guess that is where our faith is supposed to step in, but maybe you feel like your “faith store” has been depleted! Well, lets go back to scripture, Luke 17:5-6:
“When the apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith!’ He replied, ‘If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it will obey you.’”

That’s all it takes, one little mustard seed of faith to get you on the road. I know some days we feel as if we have a whole barrel of these seeds and when things aren’t going so great, we have our heads in the barrel with a magnifying glass and a flashlight trying to find that one mustard seed.

I won’t be hypocritical, it is hard to live by faith. I had somewhat of a “profound though” when sitting down at the computer…
“If I trust God to give me life, why can’t I trust him with every thing?” I mean, the same God who gives me life, breath, and keeps my ticker ticking, I sometimes treat like He can’t handle things like money or averse situations. Almost to say that they’re “too big” for Him or “God wouldn’t understand what a mortgage payment is”.

Then it was like I was also kindly reminded tonight, “Was it not God who got you that house?” The house that you purchased on your own, with no down payment and no closing costs? I prayed for a long time before buying this house. I told God that if He wanted me to do this, He’d have to do it, because I most certainly couldn’t. Well, I come to you tonight from my family room in the house. Yet, when it came to write the tithe or mortgage check this month, I chose the latter thinking that God wouldn’t understand. Wow, how foolish of me! I realize what I’ve done now and I’ve asked for forgiveness, but still, I feel so silly now.

I have an easy time helping others with their faith, but sometimes it’s hard to live it out on my own, in things like this. I’ll make sure from this point on I live by faith, included when it comes to money. I’m reminded of a song that I heard growing up in the church. It was a song my church choir sang and it was entitled, “So You Would Know”. It simply spoke of all the things God’s does for us, so we would know just how much He really does love us.

Lastly I am reminded of a scripture that was used frequently around our house as I grew up. Romans 8:28:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Now, don’t think that that scripture means that life will be a bed of roses when following God, but it means that He’ll always work things for the good of you (even the bad stuff)! Kind of rounding off what I said in the beginning, looking at my past few years in retrospect, the bad has become the good, He worked the bad actually for the good of me.

Maybe you don’t know me; or know me all that well. You’re sitting there and saying, “Ok buddy, put your money where your mouth is.” Why don’t we walk down memory lane, shall we? I’ll give you a Massie history lesson so you can see what God’s done for me.

First and foremost, my grandfather passed away one month before these events all began, which felt like I not only lost a grandfather but also a father as he was the sole male influence in my life. I then began having huge problems when this huge thing went down at this private “Christian” school I attended. I left, because, well, it was this huge ordeal, and I was found at fault for something I wasn’t even involved in. I refused to be punished for something that I didn’t do, so I switched schools. Then I went to this cruddy online school that only in the end screwed me over, and I ended my high school career with a GED. Then I was also in a major car accident, quit my job to try and fix the schooling mess I was in and trying to find out what God wanted me to do in life. Needless to say that from the ages of 16 to almost 18, life sucked. If you happen to find joy in this fact, please do so, as many seem to wish bad on me, so eat it up.

Oh, and yes, if you read that right, I AM a high school drop-out, on technical terms. Shall we now see where this got me.

At this point in my life, I felt that I had nothing to lose and might as well give God all, because, quite frankly, I felt there wasn’t anything to give. I allowed God to let me chase His will all over the east coast; speaking with pastors from around the US and praying about internships, colleges, programs, etc. I even went clear to Tennessee to do a college visit because I felt that was where God was leading me.

It was on that six hour car drive home, alone, that I found God’s will for my life. You see, it was all a test. To see if I would “go to the ends of the earth” to follow Him. Sure, for a 17 year old, that was the US, but that was my world. I passed God’s test to see if I really would just throw everything I had away to follow Him.

Here, is where the story begins to change. I found myself growing spiritually and that was a good feeling in general. Even if I was an unemployed, unsuccessful, high-school dropout and broke young adult. I also finally overcame the second major depression I have had in my life, which was considered by many, to be chronic, but I was never medically treated, because I felt God would take care of me, and He did.

As I began to trust God with everything, my life, changed. I suddenly found myself having work, and more work. I then was awarded the job of a lifetime. I began working for the company I work for today. I was the youngest staff member and I excelled beyond what many believed I would or expected from me. Then to win the top offer when the paid positions were given. This position is of a senior degree and is typically awarded to college graduates, and I currently make the salary of a college graduate. I’ve then gone on to buy a huge house (to me at least), my first brand new car, and live life on my own, with God’s help, of course. Not to mention going to college and getting a 4.0GPA and working now to get my B.S. in Information Technology and my MBA.

Now, who’s laughing? I mean, I see the kids I would have graduated with, especially the ones who put me down all my life and treated me like dirt. Sure, they’re partying, drinking, and having “fun” (if that’s what you want to call it). Like I stated to my friend though, “Aren’t I living the life that they’re looking forward to, after college? Yet, wait, I’m doing it NOW.” I mean, unless you’re majoring in alcoholic drinks and becoming a professional partier, then I believe that you’re going to college to get a career, so you can graduate and buy a house, car and live your life on your own.

Now, honestly, how “awesome” would my story be if the bad didn’t happen? Oh yeah, John graduated top of his class with a 4.0 and then went to his college of choice and is getting paid big while in college. People would come to expect that, but the story that I have now, only glorifies God and I would hope that it provides some encouragement to those who are living some hard times right now that God can take the ugliest of situations and use them for the goodness of His Kingdom.

This is why, I take no credit for what I do. It’s all God’s and for His glory. I would be no where if it wasn’t for Him. God has taken care of me and sustains me in every aspect of my life. I also have many God given talents. My friend asked me the other day if it was hard having as much as God’s given me; it truly isn’t easy. I mean, you have to give back what God has given you. I feel obligated to help churches with media, because God’s blessed me with that type of talent. I also feel that I need to get back into music because God’s given me that talent and I have yet to use it for him in a “big” way. The scripture that speaks of “to much is given, much is required” holds very true. Some days it is a big responsibility, but God helps me through it all.

I hope this helps someone. It’s a lot of my personal feelings out there on a page (or a few pages, I should say). I know God wouldn’t inspire me to write all this for it to have no purpose. If you find something inspirational or helpful or you just enjoyed reading it, please leave me a comment or e-mail me if you feel it’s too personal to leave here. It’s so discouraging sometimes for people to read stuff like this and you never hear back about it. Thanks for taking the time to read it, if you’ve reached this point. Who knows, maybe you have questions or want to know who this Jesus is that I know and who God is and how I met Him. Feel free to ask, and I’ll be prepared with an answer.

God Bless and Be With You All,
- J –